Compostings - Al Batt
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
How’s your telemarketing job going?
I quit.
How come?
It wasn’t my true calling.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I was a major piece of the day’s puzzle. I...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
Only one side of my headphones works.
Why do you keep using them?
I can still listen to Sonny or Cher, Hall or Oates, and Simon or Garfunkel.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive,...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
That sign should be “10 items or fewer” instead of “10 items or less.”
Are you obsessed with grammar?
No, I couldn’t care fewer.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
I bought an encyclopedia.
A set of encyclopedias?
No, I bought one volume at a garage sale. Let me know if you need to know anything from rabbits to the Ryukyu Islands.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce....
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
Weasel thinks he’s royalty.
What gave him that idea?
He ate at a Burger King, drank a Royal Crown Cola, went on a Princess Cruise, bought Duke's Mayonnaise, and ate at a Dairy Queen in just two weeks.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
The city says I have seven outstanding parking tickets.
Do you really?
I don’t know, but it was nice of the city to say that.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
You should cut back on the red meat and fried foods.
My aunt just celebrated her 106th birthday.
Did she do it by eating red meat and fried foods?
No, she did it by minding her own business.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
My nephew borrowed my lawn mower and made a lot of money.
He mowed a lot of lawns, huh?
No, he sold my mower.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. The...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
This is the best potato and ham soup I’ve ever eaten.
It’s clam chowder.
This is the worst clam chowder I’ve ever eaten.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I...
ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING
You know what they say about getting older?
No, what?
I don’t remember either.
DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I needed a good password. I always need one. I was...