Compostings - Al Batt

Three-year-old troublemaker

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting I told my sister that she had drawn her eyebrows too high. How did she take that? She looked surprised. Driving by Bruce’s drive I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. The rain...

How deer communicate

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING My twin brother asked if I ever suffer from hallucinations. That was an odd thing to ask. Why is that odd? I don’t have a twin brother. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts...

It’s the smell of pumpkin spice

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING Do you ever talk to yourself? Yes, I do sometimes. I wasn’t talking to you. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. After her funeral, Lori Bell rode to the...

On a first-name basis with the birds

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING Want to hear your horoscope? Sure, why not? It says, “Your generosity will glow like 10,000 fireflies after you buy pie for everyone in the cafe.” I don’t believe my horoscope says that. Have you always had such deep-seated trust...

What goes up must come down

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting How do you spell Armageddon? I don’t know. Oh, well, never mind. It’s not the end of the world. Driving by Bruce’s drive I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I went to Bruce’s...

Speak softly and carry deep-fried foods

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING Sorry, I’m late. I had car trouble. What kind? I couldn’t make it reach the 160 mph needed to get me here on time. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I grew...

A day to make Goldilocks happy

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING You bought a used electric car? I did. How do you like the car? The vehicle is great, but coiling the 350 miles of extension cord is a pain. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his...

Say the nice thing

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING How’s your telemarketing job going? I quit. How come? It wasn’t my true calling. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I was a major piece of the day’s puzzle. I...

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING Only one side of my headphones works. Why do you keep using them? I can still listen to Sonny or Cher, Hall or Oates, and Simon or Garfunkel. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive,...

I couldn't care fewer

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING That sign should be “10 items or fewer” instead of “10 items or less.” Are you obsessed with grammar? No, I couldn’t care fewer. DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur...