Dance like everyone's looking at their phones

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

All the crows that used to hang around the parking lot have disappeared.

I wonder why they left?

I don’t know. I haven’t found the caws.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I was in an ice cream parlor, waiting in line to get an ice cream cone. It was one of those shops offering many flavors and samples. The guy just ahead of me asked the clerk, "Can I try the vanilla?" He tried the free sample, then bought a mint chocolate chip cone.

 

I walked outside to eat my butter pecan ice cream cone. The weather was perfect for tackling that task—not too cold for ice cream and not hot enough to rush melting. I was enjoying the moment when the mint-chocolate-chip-ice-cream-cone guy, who had been just ahead of me in line, dropped his cone onto the sidewalk. House sparrows gathered nearby. They were birds experienced in the delight of a fallen and found ice cream cone.

They might have been wearing bibs.

 

The man uttered a discouraging word. That didn’t help, so he tossed out a second and a third curse word. That tapestry of obscenities reminded me of a late friend who could cuss with the best of them or the worst of them—depending on your perspective. He had retired early on the money he had put into the swear jar. When people mentioned they hadn’t seen him for a while and asked where he’d been, he told them he’d been living under a rock. Since the rock was in Minnesota, it must have been winterized.

 

I’VE LEARNED

A rabbit's sock is extremely good luck. Rodin‘s sculpture “The Thinker” was thinking of a number between one and 10.

 

My audiologist whispers.

 

Dance like everyone is looking at their phones because they are.

 

Researchers at Legacy Healing Center https://www.legacyhealing.com analyzed four key healthcare access indicators across all 50 states: the share of adults unable to see a doctor due to cost, emergency room wait times, the number of primary care shortage areas, and the number of practitioners needed to eliminate those shortages. Each factor was weighted to produce a score identifying where accessing care is most difficult. Texas was the state where seeing a doctor was the hardest. Minnesota was the 40th hardest and Iowa was 46th. Hawaii was the easiest.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

Where does a lizard go after it has lost its tail? The retail store.

 

If you enjoy politically incorrect jokes, here’s one: Benjamin Franklin was a great American president.

 

Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs. That’s because they're Inca hoots.

 

NATURE NOTES

Why do geese fly in a V-formation? It’s because the lead goose is a veteran female named Verna, Velma or Virginia. Occasionally, a male named Virgil gets to fly at the front just to shut him up. Scientists have determined that the V-shaped formation conserves energy. Each bird flies slightly above the bird in front of it, resulting in a reduction of wind resistance. The birds take turns being at the front, falling back when they tire from acting as a windbreak. This allows the geese to fly long distances before they must stop to rest. A V-formation aids communication and coordination within the group. Fighter pilots often fly in a V-formation for aerodynamic efficiency and tactical advantages. This configuration allows maneuverability, enhanced visibility, and a potential for reduced fuel consumption. Plus, it looks cool.

 

A murmuration of starlings is a shapeshifting cloud of swirling birds that alternately grows larger and shrinks. An elegant movement of a flock of starlings invites contemplation and creates stunning art in the sky. The movement of the flock is choreographed collectively by all members of that flock. The fluidity of motion results when one starling changes direction or speed, and each of the other birds in the flock responds to the change nearly simultaneously, as the group responds as one. I reckon the collective noun “murmuration,” derives from the sounds made by the wingbeats of many birds in flight. I’ve had a flock of starlings swoop low over my head with a loud whoosh before twirling away. The wing song made me duck. Maybe it should be called a whoosh of starlings?

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

The Lakota Tech players wore warm-up shirts during the South Dakota State Girls Basketball Tournament that read, “Be good to people.” The shirts were worn to honor the late Tiny Decory who said, “Be good to people. we are struggling, and that smile, words of encouragement and kindness are something we can all use.”