Don’t ever forget the Golden Rule

I feel compelled to write about responses I’ve witnessed from folks this past weekend.

I believe strongly in the golden rule: “Treat others how you wish to be treated,” or, phrased another way, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

People who are insulted by another human being have different reactions. When someone you love is insulted, your response may be even stronger than if the slight were aimed at you.

Recently, I had the pleasure of having lunch with Deb Bently and her husband John. If you know John, you know that he is a brilliant, kind, caring and compassionate man. You may also know that he has numerous patents in the air duct cleaning industry.

Once, while attending a convention for his business, John had thousands of dollars of equipment as well as his truck stolen. The entire vehicle and its contents were “stripped” all the way down to the tires. This not only set his business back, but hurt his family because of the loss of revenue, time, and more. John made the comment, “Mess with me, that's fine, but don’t ever hurt my family.”

Love compels people to protect those they care about, sometimes by any means necessary.

I’ve written before about the game store I have frequented for the past eight years in Austin. Due to circumstances that astonished even me, my friends Kyle and Anastasiia generously gave me their game store when they needed to move away to take care of family.

Shortly after acquiring the game store in April of 2024, I parked behind the building, inadvertently blocking the neighbors’ vehicle. I know the neighbors and am friends with their daughter.

As I got involved with work at the game store, I forgot I had parked behind him. The neighbor stumbled out of a bar next door, yelling profanity and demanding that I move my car. I apologized, moved my vehicle and assured him it wouldn’t happen again. He appeared surprised at my calm response, because, to be frank, he had posed the question harshly and was obviously very intoxicated.

(Thankfully, he didn’t drive anywhere after I moved my car.)

After he left, my friends were very upset.

“Eli is the nicest man in the world,” one friend said. “We can’t let someone talk to him that way.”

There were similar comments from everyone. Then the conversation to my alarm turned to suggestions of physical retaliation. I had never seen my friends behave or speak so defensively. It was a harsh overreaction.

I had to stop everyone then and state emphatically, “One person's bad actions do not justify others to do the same or worse.”

If we retaliate, we lower ourselves to the level of the behavior which offended us. If we had taken retaliatory actions to this drunkard, we would only have justified his bad behavior by lowering ourselves to that standard.

This past weekend something similar happened; a customer left a bad review of the game store for no good reason. The story behind the review is rather meaningless at this point.

One of my friends went on a rant, defending the store; he couldn’t believe someone would be so malicious as to leave a bad review online. More than one person echoed the sentiment. Then the group declared the culprit should be banned from the store. The person in question is only 17 years old.

No, the person shouldn’t be banned. This is a teachable moment for a young adult who, from my perspective, was not raised with good role models. This is our opportunity to show him kindness. To show how responsible, respectful adults should conduct themselves. Not to show him more of what he’s already seen: hate, discontent and further disrespect.

I believe he owes an apology to one of my employees because of his actions, but aside from that, if we want to see him move toward being a mature, rational member of society, banning him from the store is the last choice we should make. My employees have been instructed if he comes into the store again that he is to talk to me. This will give me the opportunity to help explain what the consequences of his actions are or could have potentially been. And also be an example that hate or anger should not be met with more hate and anger.

Numerous times at the game store this past year, I found myself becoming annoyed with a few regular patrons. I found myself not wanting to interact with them, actively avoiding them, really not being their friend. I wasn’t mean, but certainly wasn’t treating them with love.

I prayed about what I should do.

The response I felt I heard was to treat them with love and kindness, the same way I would treat one of my best friends. In both cases, I changed my behavior and started asking many questions to get to know the person. In both instances the people in question have become very good friends I cherish and look forward to seeing. All it took was changing my behavior. I’m really grateful.

I’ll repeat again: you often get out of the world what you put into it. And I will continue to do my best to put kindness out into the world.

"It's never the wrong time to do the right thing" - Mark Twain.

Or

“It’s never wrong to do the right thing.”