A lucky rabbit's foot

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

 There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween.

 

 Which is?

 

 Exactly.

 

Driving by Bruce’s Drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I walked down a sidewalk. A store owner was using a long-legged squeegee to clean the windows of his establishment. He was smoking a pipe with a bowl about the size of his head. The smoke smelled good, not quite like burning leaves, but like a pleasant fall.

 

 I pontificated about the mysteries and beauties of fall on a tour boat called the Pelican Breeze. One passenger, a pleasant woman with a ready smile, lost her glove to the lake. I considered throwing it a life preserver, but didn’t. Christmas isn't far off, so I hope someone gives her a polyester glove for her left hand. I offered each of the passengers a bar of soap. If they fell overboard, they’d be washed ashore.

 

 I’m not all that superstitious, but when I remember, for good luck, I say “rabbit rabbit” as the first words I speak in a month. I read in the “Farmers’ Almanac” that the origin of the superstition may have been inspired by the White Rabbit in Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland,” who guided Alice through fantastical adventures. The first written account was in the English periodical Notes and Queries in 1909, wherein a parent noted his children said “rabbit rabbit” up the chimney on the first of a month, hoping for a present. FDR said “rabbits” on the first of each month and carried a lucky rabbit’s foot during the 1932 presidential election, which he won in a landslide. During World War II, British fighter pilots opted for even greater luck by saying “white rabbits” daily. “Saturday Night Live” star Gilda Radner said “bunny bunny” for luck. An author, Simon Winchester, said “white rabbits” the first of every month for 696 months before missing one. If you forget to say it as the first thing, say “rabbit rabbit” backward (“tibbar tibbar”) and you’re covered. 

 

I’ve learned

 You might be overdue for a shower if you’re being followed by dung beetles. 

 

 While growing up, I didn’t know anyone who spent all day looking at a phone.

 

 Honesty doesn’t win elections.

 

 Joseph Wood Krutch said, “The only people who should be allowed to govern countries are those who have not the slightest desire to do so.”

 

 We have four seasons except on election years. Then we have five.

 

 A spider has eight legs, yet no spider has ever won a dance contest.

 

 Economists make weather forecasters seem infallible in comparison.

 

 I know it’s an election year when even my bathroom scale refuses to tell the truth.

 

Bad jokes department

 Man arrested for stealing pumpkins because no gourd deed goes unpunished.

 

 Three economists went deer hunting. They spotted a deer. One shot and missed five feet to the left. The second one shot and missed five feet to the right. The third dropped his gun and said, “We got him!”

 

 Only divorced people should be allowed to vote. They understand the consequences of making a wrong choice.

 

Nature notes

 I saw a fox as we both greeted the dawn’s sun. A red fox likes to hunt before sunrise and after sunset. Its thick, soft coat keeps it warm. In the fall, a red fox hangs out alone. The babies have grown and gone. Foxes grow longer, thicker coats for winter. Instead of hiding out in a den, a red fox usually curls up in the open. Wrapped in its big, bushy tail, the fox stays nice and warm even when completely covered by snow.

 

 How can you tell a downy woodpecker from a hairy woodpecker? If you can see them together, the hairy is much larger. The hairy is the approximate size of a robin, and the downy is the size of a house sparrow. The downy is more abundant, and the hairy likes the company of larger trees. I’ve found the best way to differentiate the two is by their bills. The downy’s bill is much shorter, roughly 1/3 the length of its head and the hairy’s bill is nearly the length of its head. When sizes and bills are compared, a downy is dinky and a hairy is huge.

 

Meeting adjourned

 “From the time you were very little, you’ve had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving. So, on this extra special day, let’s take some time to think of those extra special people.”—Fred Rogers.