'Kind words are a verbal hug'

ECHOES FROM THE LOAFERS’ CLUB MEETING

What are all those little bottles?

They’re Wite-Out. I’m collecting them.

Why?

Because they’re corrector’s items.

 

DRIVING BY BRUCE’S DRIVE

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. After my father had died, I joined my mother and my siblings to find homes for some of Dad’s things. There was a box filled with mismatched, orphaned gloves, and caps meant for either winter or summer. There were battered caps to wear when doing farm work, and then there was the good cap. The good cap was the one worn to town. When I was a little boy, I’d accompany my father, who was wearing his good cap, to Vivian’s Cafe, where he sat with other farmers, all of them enjoying a cup of coffee with a sweet roll or piece of pie. They’d all worn caps into the cafe and then removed them to eat. Unlike today, very few of the caps promoted a brand name. They weren’t that interested in advertising for a company.

 

I’VE LEARNED

At every Thanksgiving table, there is a Normal Lee who says, “Normally, I don’t eat this much.”

 

When I slide headfirst into an MRI, I remind myself and I’m reminded by the healthcare professionals that I need to remain as perfectly still as possible. I should be able to do that as I’m typically exhausted after spending a day in the clinic. But once the machine begins capturing images, I suddenly gain the energy of a squirrel and want to scurry all about.

 

A friend told me that when she and her husband had a young family, she realized they were eating out too often when she yelled, “Let’s eat!” and the kids all ran to the car.

 

I stayed at a towering hotel. I rode the elevator to my room. As I traveled from the 12th floor to the 14th floor, I saw there was no 13th floor, but that’s another story. Many hotels have no 13th floor due to a widespread superstition and fear of the number 13, known as triskaidekaphobia.

 

BAD JOKES DEPARTMENT

When scientists combined the DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab, things went sideways fast.

 

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness of people like me who forget to separate red laundry from white.

 

 I went to a bookstore recently. A guy was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I wondered why he was doing that. Then “IT” hit me.

 

The neighbor evaporated. He’ll be mist.

 

I just moved 20 cents from my left pocket to my right pocket. It was a pair o’ dime shift.

What is faster than an escalator? An escanow.

 

NATURE NOTES

Squirrel nests may look like haphazard clumps of leaves, but they have a complex construction with layers of different materials. Leaf nests (dreys) are made from twigs, leaves, mosses and other material. Green twigs (often with leaves attached) are woven together to create the floor of the nest. Squirrels pack soft, compressible materials, such as damp leaves and moss, on top of the floor to reinforce the structure. The squirrel weaves a spherical frame of twigs and vines around the base, creating an outer shell to the insulated core. The finishing touches involve stuffing in leaves, mosses, shredded bark, twigs or paper to line the inner cavity. Squirrels take advantage of locations offering built-in support, like the fork of branches. Some build nests in tree cavities rather than high in branches. In his fascinating book, “Winter World,” Bernd Heinrich found many dreys were “piles of junk” and suggested they may have been fake nests built to distract predators. Others were well-engineered. He counted 26 layers of flattened, dried green oak leaves in one nest and discovered that the multiple sheets of leaves served as watertight, interlocking shingles, as the nest was dry inside. Speaking of leaves, I caught three falling leaves before they hit the ground this fall. Folklore says that if you catch a falling leaf, you will have 12 months of happiness. A leaf is good fortune tumbling from the sky. Corralling a dancing leaf brings good luck and might require good luck. Catch a falling leaf before it touches the ground and then make a wish. I did that after I caught the first leaf. I wished I’d catch two more leaves, and my wish came true.

 

MEETING ADJOURNED

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey.

Kind words are a verbal hug. Happy Thanksgiving.